Sunday, November 22, 2009
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Robert Rankin

Robert Ranking, the author they've said all sorts of things about... and some of them were nice!

"Robert Rankin used to inhabit Brentford but now lives in deepest Sussex. Bizarre, compelling, dangerous, challenging, subversive and sexy are all words that have been used to describe his unique and imaginative fiction. Deranged and in serious need of therapy are a few that have been applied to the man himself."
from The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

"Magus to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Sprout, 12th Dan Master of Dimac, poet, adventurer, swordsman and concert pianist; big game hunter, Best Dressed Man of 1933; mountaineer, lone yachtsman, Shakespearean actor and topless go-go dancer; Robert Rankin's hobbies include passive smoking, communicating with the dead and lying about his achievements. He lives in Sussex with his wife and family."
from The Antipope

"Although still appearing to be a man in his early twenties, Robert Rankin was, in fact, born during the first years of Queen Victoria's reign. A retired Tupperware salesman, he now divides his time between wearing old straw hats, collecting whales and commuting between the planets. And he still hasn't won the Booker Prize"
from The Sprouts of Wrath

"Robert Rankin was born in Parsons Green. He attended various schools. Blah blah. Went on to study Graphics at Waterman's Art Centre, where he founded Brentford Poets, which soon became the largest weekly poetry group in England. Blah blah blah blah blah. Sexual athlete. Blah? Lives in Sussex. Blah blah blah..."
from They Came and Ate Us - Armageddon II: The B-Movie

"Robert Rankin describes himself as a 'teller of tales' and his work as 'far fetched fiction'. A seminal writer with a fluid style and a prodigious outflow, when once asked by an inspired talk-show host where he got his ideas from, he muttered something about his dog, made his excuses and left."
from A Dog Called Demolition

"Robert Rankin spent nearly five years working in the film industry. All right, so he only hired out props, but he did hire them out for The Elephant Man, Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Star Wars trilogy, which is pretty damn good by anyone's reckoning.[...]"
from Nostradamus Ate my Hamster

"Robert Rankin is an unrepentant Luddite, who stubbornly refuses to buy a word processor and still writes his novels longhand, in exercise books. His distrust of computers and all things electronic borders on the manic, and he surrounds himself with Victorian curiosities and a circle of friends only slightly less weird than himself. What his wife has to say about all of this is anyone's guess."
from The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag

"At the age of eight, ROBERT RANKIN was given a conjuring set for Christmas. From that day on he determined that he would eventually pursue a career as a stage magician. His father encouraged this ambition, rewarding his son's amateur performances with a pat on the head and a shilling piece. By the age of twenty-one, Robert Rankin had UKP100 and a flat head. And received his first kicking for retelling old jokes."
from Apocalypso

"Robert Rankin currently dwells in a converted Second World War pillbox on a disused railway line in Sussex. Here, with a large stock of canned beans, toilet rolls and candles, he awaits the fall of civilisation. He wishes to make it known to future generations, that saying 'I told you so' gave him no satisfaction whatsoever."
from Snuff Fiction

"When it comes to rock music, Robert Rankin has been there and would no doubt have bought the T-shirt, if he hadn't spent the money on chemicals instead. During the 1970s he made his bid for rock stardom as lead singer with such bands as Lazlo Woodbine and the Woodbinettes, the Plasma Jets and Ali Dada. Rankin never realised his ambition to drive a Rolls-Royce into a swimming pool, although he did once steer his Morris Minor through quite a big puddle on his way to a pub gig in Penge."
from Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls

"The tragic early death of Robert Rankin during the millennial celebrations in a freak accident involving a chicken and an inadequately earthed hairdryer deprived the world of its leading exponent of Far-fetched Fiction. However, scientists at the Hugo Rune Institute of Bio-technology in Brentford are confident that they can clone Rankin using DNA samples recovered from the chicken. The condition of the hairdryer is said to be 'satisfactory'."
from Waiting for Godalming

"When Robert Rankin embarked upon his writing career in the late 1970s, his ambition was to create an entirely new literary genre, which he named Far-Fetched Fiction. He reasoned that by doing this he could avoid competing with any other living author in any known genre and would be given his own special section in WH Smith."
from Web Site Story

Buy books written by Robert Rankin